TurtleSoup's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[heavy metal poety [sic]]

i enjoued this poetry

it really touched me deeply, especially the 9/11 poem. i can really relate to these. you have a really good voice mister, have you ever thought about being a professional voice actor? i tried being a voice actor once but when i went to the store to buy a microphone, the salesperson asked me if ive ever tossed a salad, i said i have because i happen to be a pretty good chef, but i didnt know it was a sexual innuendo! he brought me to the back to toss a salad but i was knocked out and kidnapped. i woke up in an abandonned bomb shelter somewhere in brazil. they told me that my family was to wire them $10,000 USD by thursday or they would kill me. i felt really horrible at that point because not only did my family not have $10,000, but they had all died in a 12 car pile up 2 months ago. you see they were on their way to a camping trip, i couldnt attend because i had lymphoma at the time but thats another story. so my entire family was on their way to a camping trip along the mississippi river, my brothers, sister, and parents were in one car, my only aunt and grandma were in another car directly behind them, that is my entire family. my aunt never had children and my grandpa died in world war 2 while fighting the japs in korea. so you see i had no family to wire the money to the kidnappers so i had to find my own way out. i first cut the ropes around my wrists by breaking the old rusty water pipe nearby, sure i got tetnus but i had to get out right? so i took off the ropes on my ankles and went and locked the door so the kidnappers could not come in and shoot me. i kicked out the window and climbed outside, and since i was in the north pole it was very cold so i had to find somewhere warm to hide and fast. i scanned around and saw a giant barn, so i made my way over there and snuck in. while exploring the place i found a secret trap door that lead into a huge underground complex. the halls were ungarded so i was free to move around as i pleased. i found a huge door that was locked, so i took out my C4 and blew the doors open, and thats when i found all the christmas presents they had stolen. i loaded them up into the sleigh and headed towards the hatch leading outside when suddenly the guy from the store stepped infront of the sleigh in a huge metal gear. luckily for me, there was another metal gear nearby, so i hopped in and we had a giant fight that destroyed the entire base, but i escaped with the presents.

and thats how i saved christmas

StrangeClock responds:

Now I understand why the corners of my christmas present were slightly charred. I thank you for your brave deeds and tale. It reminds me of the time I got locked up in the garage, only I locked myself in and I actually got freed by an escaped mental patient who was hiding in my backyard. He melted the lock by regurgitating stomach acid and then demanded I hand over my kidneys.

[Ric Flair - Can't Help It]

WOOOOOOOOH

WOOOOOOOOH

MaddFlash2 responds:

OOOO

[Triangle Man for the Win.]

this is a touching tribute to me

triangle man always wins

[_FLU!(chapter05)]

Not your average mainstream bullshit.

Hey its too bad you didn't throw in furry porn and dbz stick fights or you might have gotten 5's from those who said it sucked.

Honestly people, this is one of those few series that actually has a GOOD PLOT. Its original, and it doesn't follow the mainstream bullshit you find in just about every movie on the frontpage.

So what if he uses some 3D program, It fits the style of the movie. The whole "semi-plane" idea is kind of like TRON, so the 3D graphics are very suitable. He's also very good at it, the characters don't all look like some generic template with a few colour changes.

The only (small) problem is the language. Since its a foreign language, I'd have to read whats being said and I'd partially miss whats happening on screen.

This is better than the vast majority of series on NG.

[Return of SpeedstickClock]

Wheres my cyanide?

This movie was half decent until you turned it into DBZ. Then the movie lost any chance it had of redeeming itself. I think we've seen enough of these DBZ movies on Newgrounds. They're about as rampant as Stick movies.

The music? Fucking horrible. Linkin Park is one of the worst bands I've heard. Its basically a grown man crying into a microphone.

All in all, you failed.

[DE_dust]

New low for Newgrounds reviewers

Since when does a stick movie in a counter-strike scenario deserve a 10? The hardest work you did was probably taking screenshots and tracing them.

This hardly deserves to be in the top 50 let alone top 10. Xiao Xiao isn't even in the top 50, and thats hands down, the greatest stick series. Alot better than this stuff.

Next time use some real characters, instead of stick men. Stick men aren't entertaining at all.

[Knoxs "The Matrix" 5]

who put needles in my cat?

This is one of the best things I've seen in the portal in a long time. Its great to see movies now and then that aren't your usual portal crap. You deserve a medal.

[Battle for the Portal Pt4]

Thats it?

You could have put a little more effort into this one. You didn't even incorporate your tagline "Many will die, there can be only one King of the Portal" into the movie, which is what most people (or me rather) wanted to see in this movie.

The ending was cheesy, and could use a different one. I think you didn't want to pick a real winner, and piss off a specific group of people, but then again who are you to decide who the king of the portal is?

What I think you should have done is, put up a poll on some website, and have the people of newgrounds decide, but keeping the results secret so the movie wouldn't be spoiled.

[Ninja Starz]

woah....

Clockcrew is failing, its not gonna last another year. Losts of us got out cause we know its not gonna last. Your Clock name, its orignal, but it sucks. Voices hurt my ears, and this type of plot has been done so many times its annoying. Make something original and worth watching next time.

Good luck.

[Goodbye from DarkMatter]

oh

who are you?

j/k sux2bu for leaving the clockcrew

<3

DarkMatterClock responds:

We all know it's for the better..thanks for your review though