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heavy metal poety [sic] heavy metal poety [sic]

Rated 5 / 5 stars

i enjoued this poetry

it really touched me deeply, especially the 9/11 poem. i can really relate to these. you have a really good voice mister, have you ever thought about being a professional voice actor? i tried being a voice actor once but when i went to the store to buy a microphone, the salesperson asked me if ive ever tossed a salad, i said i have because i happen to be a pretty good chef, but i didnt know it was a sexual innuendo! he brought me to the back to toss a salad but i was knocked out and kidnapped. i woke up in an abandonned bomb shelter somewhere in brazil. they told me that my family was to wire them $10,000 USD by thursday or they would kill me. i felt really horrible at that point because not only did my family not have $10,000, but they had all died in a 12 car pile up 2 months ago. you see they were on their way to a camping trip, i couldnt attend because i had lymphoma at the time but thats another story. so my entire family was on their way to a camping trip along the mississippi river, my brothers, sister, and parents were in one car, my only aunt and grandma were in another car directly behind them, that is my entire family. my aunt never had children and my grandpa died in world war 2 while fighting the japs in korea. so you see i had no family to wire the money to the kidnappers so i had to find my own way out. i first cut the ropes around my wrists by breaking the old rusty water pipe nearby, sure i got tetnus but i had to get out right? so i took off the ropes on my ankles and went and locked the door so the kidnappers could not come in and shoot me. i kicked out the window and climbed outside, and since i was in the north pole it was very cold so i had to find somewhere warm to hide and fast. i scanned around and saw a giant barn, so i made my way over there and snuck in. while exploring the place i found a secret trap door that lead into a huge underground complex. the halls were ungarded so i was free to move around as i pleased. i found a huge door that was locked, so i took out my C4 and blew the doors open, and thats when i found all the christmas presents they had stolen. i loaded them up into the sleigh and headed towards the hatch leading outside when suddenly the guy from the store stepped infront of the sleigh in a huge metal gear. luckily for me, there was another metal gear nearby, so i hopped in and we had a giant fight that destroyed the entire base, but i escaped with the presents.

and thats how i saved christmas

StrangeClock responds:

Now I understand why the corners of my christmas present were slightly charred. I thank you for your brave deeds and tale. It reminds me of the time I got locked up in the garage, only I locked myself in and I actually got freed by an escaped mental patient who was hiding in my backyard. He melted the lock by regurgitating stomach acid and then demanded I hand over my kidneys.

Ric Flair - Can't Help It Ric Flair - Can't Help It

Rated 5 / 5 stars



MaddFlash2 responds:


The Raven (clock) The Raven (clock)

Rated 5 / 5 stars

this was a fantastic piece of work

its a masterpiece

Recent Game Reviews

Gravity Pinball Challenge Gravity Pinball Challenge

Rated 1 / 5 stars


so is this supposed to be a blatant and horribly boring ripoff of the ball revamped games?

jazzy jones jazzy jones

Rated 5 / 5 stars

holy shit

this is the greatest game i have ever played

Drunk Mo The Game DEMO1.2 Drunk Mo The Game DEMO1.2

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

fun stuff

needs more porn